The Long Ships
In this elaborately mounted seafaring adventure, Rolfe (Richard Widmark) is a Viking leader with the cunning and devious mind of a pirate. Rolfe tells others sailors of "The Mother of Voices," a mammoth bell made of gold and as tall as three men, but he adds enough incorrect details to throw them off the proper trail. However, Aly Mansuh (Sidney Poitier), the leader of a group of ambitious Moors, sees through Rolfe's story, and soon the two are in a breakneck race to be the first to capture the precious bell. The Long Ships also features Russ Tamblyn and Oscar Homolka.
- Stars:Richard Widmark, Sidney Poitier, Russ Tamblyn, Rosanna Schiaffino, Oskar Homolka, Edward Judd, Lionel Jeffries, Beba Loncar, Clifford Evans, Gordon Jackson, Colin Blakely, David Lodge, Henry Oscar, Paul Stassino, Jeanne Moody,
- Country:UK, Yugoslavia
- Director:Jack Cardiff,
- Writer:Berkely Mather (screenplay), Beverley Cross (screenplay), Frans G. Bengtsson (novel)
A vagabond Viking adventurer and a Moor both compete to find "The Mother of All Voices," a legendary golden bell near the Pillars of Hercules. . You can read more in Google, Youtube, Wiki
The Long Ships torrent reviews
(kr) wrote: Very boring. Just dragged out showing characters that were hard to care about. don't waste your time, watch star trek.
(es) wrote: This movie is terrible, highly offensive, and vulgar. It should be unenjoyable, but yet somehow, this movie is really fun to watch. I've watched a number of Uwe Boll's films and absolutely hating all of them. I expected to hate this all the same. Yet, 90 minutes later, I had a lot of fun. Sure, the jokes are incredible rude and offensive to all walks of life, but this is one of those rare cases where it actually turns out to be funny. Blubberella is a half-vampire, half-woman (yes, it's actually explains that) in 1940s Nazi Germany, trying to find love on the internet (yes, in the 1940s). She ends up infecting one of the Nazi generals and has to help the resistance to save them and the Jews being held captive. She's still trying to find her soul mate along the way. You meet Hitler, with a painted on mustache and all, a guy in a fish outfit, and a cross dressing tranvestite. This movie is wrong on so many levels, but yet I liked it.
(nl) wrote: an amazing film, dark and tense, i've seen it at rome film festival, super direction and acting.
(ru) wrote: You have to give credit to the writers of the various SyFy original movies as their imagination truly knows no bounds. They seem to come up with ever more ridiculous concepts with Stonehenge Apocalypse being one of the strangest of the lot. Even if the film itself is terrible you just know that entertainment awaits as the ludicrousness of the plot is slowly unveiled.A group of tourists visiting the site of Stonehenge bear witness to the ancient stones beginning to move independently before a huge electro-magnetic charge instantly vaporises them. Jacob, a disgraced scientist with a penchant for conspiracy theories, notices a number of electro-magnetic field lines running from Stonehenge to various volcanoes around the world. He believe Stonehenge to be an ancient terra-forming device that has turned itself back on and which may lead to the destruction of earth as we know it. It's up to him to convince the world's scientists of what he knows and find the key to stop this tragedy before it happens.Yes you did read that right. Stonehenge is a terra-forming device put there by Aliens in order to make Earth a habitable planet. Only the writers of a SyFy film could come up with a concept so utterly stupid. Unfortunately for us though, the silliness of the plot is about the only entertaining aspect of this film as it's littered with terrible CGI, terrible acting, terrible dialogue and boring scene after boring scene. Usually you can depend on SyFy for providing a fast paced film with plenty of silly action but Stonehenge Apocalypse is almost entirely devoid of action, instead we get scene after scene of pseudo-science nonsense until it finally kicks off for the final ten minutes. Yes there are plenty of laughs to be had as the various plot elements are revealed and terrible CGI destruction scenes play out but it's not enough to stave off the huge amount of boredom in between. More action and less talking was badly needed but be safe in the knowledge that you will be unable to contain your laughter as the film unfolds.Certainly one SyFy's more ridiculous concepts, Stonehenge Apocalypse lacks the action and fast pace that usually make their films entertaining. Do yourself a favour and just read the plot instead, it's far more entertaining than the film.
(jp) wrote: Un road trip pour fuire une tragdie. Triste, cause du sujet, mais bien jou et bien ralis.
(kr) wrote: This was scary and true
(es) wrote: On paper this was good - but this wasn't on paper. Buy only for the Campbell commentary - that's 5 star!
(jp) wrote: While praying at an altar with his traveling companion and fellow thief Malak (Tracey Walter), Conan (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is confronted by Queen Taramis (Sarah Douglas) of Shadizar, who tests the pair in combat with several of her guards. She tells him that she has a quest for him, but he initially refuses her until she uses her power to learn his greatest desire: his beloved Valeria. Promised Valeria's resurrection, Conan agrees to the quest which is to escort the Queen's niece, Jehnna (Olivia d'Abo), who destined to find a special jewel that can be used to obtain the jeweled horn of the dreaming god Dagoth. Conan and Malak are joined by captain of Taramis's guard Bombaata (Wilt Chamberlain), who is instructed to kill Conan once the jewel is obtained. Because the gem is secured in the fortress of a powerful wizard, Conan seeks the help Akiro (Mako), the Wizard of the Mounds who aided him before. After saving Akiro from a tribe of cannibals who plan to eat him to absorb his magic, Conan's group encounter Zula (Grace Jones), a powerful warrior and bandit being tortured by vengeful villagers. Freeing Zula at Jehnna's request, Conan accepts the indebted warrior's offer to join their quest. The group then sets out to find the jewel...John Milius, the director of "Conan the Barbarian" (1982) was unavailable to direct "Conan the Destroyer" (1984). The studio took a more active role than they had on the first film, which led to some serious mistakes, according to Schwarzenegger in his latest autobiography. After the phenomenon of E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982), Universal thought Conan the Destroyer (1984) would make more money if it were family entertainment. Schwarzenegger argued against this change but they overruled him. Director Richard Fleischer agreed with Schwarzenegger, but complied with Universal's wishes to make Conan the Destroyer (1984) more like a comic book. Although it out-grossed Conan the Barbarian (1982), it didn't do as well in the US, because it was more family-friendly, just as Schwarzenegger and Fleischer feared. He later expressed the same fears in Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) when the Terminator was forbidden from killing anyone. Both Schwarzenegger and Dino De Laurentiis washed their hands of the series, with Schwarzenegger opting to only do contemporary movies from now on. The third film in the Conan trilogy had been planned for a 1987 release with the title Conan the Conqueror. The director was to have been either Guy Hamilton or John Guillermin. Arnold Schwarzenegger, however, was committed to the film Predator, and De Laurentiis's contract with the star had expired after his obligation to Red Sonja and Raw Deal, and he was not keen to negotiate a new one. The third Conan film thus sank into development hell. The script was eventually turned into Kull the Conqueror.turned into Kull the Conqueror. Grace Jones put two stuntmen in the hospital by accident with a fighting stick; she trained for 18 months to prepare for the film. "Conan the Destroyer" received mixed to negative reviews from critics. Despite some lukewarm critical response, the film succeeded at the box-office upon its 1984 release, grossing a respectable $31,042,035 in the U.S. and an additional $69 million in international markets, with the film grossing a combined total of $100,042,035. This success led Schwarzenegger, Fleischer, and De Laurentiis to team up again to make "Red Sonja" a year later; however, "Red Sonja" was a critical and commercial disappointment and ended Schwarzenegger's involvement in sword-and-sorcery films. "Conan the Destroyer" was nominated for two Razzie Awards, including Worst Supporting Actress and won Worst New Star for D'Abo. After the success of "Conan the Barbarian" it was written in stone that there would be a second one, then again Milius had already set out to do a trilogy, but as already mentioned, Milius didnt get to direct the second one and we got more of a family oriented Conan adventure. "Conan the Destroyer" is as campy as the first one, but theres maybe a glimpse of something better and I would actually give that credit to the fierce Zula, intensively played by Grace Jones. Shes great in her scenes in my opinion. Yes, theres more "jokes", more silliness with less violence and less sex/eroticism, which is quite Conan unlike so to say. Conan is made more silly and less the barbarian he is. Of course thats a minus. The plus in "Conan the Destroyer" are Grace Jones, Sarah Douglas and the cute Olivia d'Abo in her first role. In June 2013, Schwarzenegger said he still had plans to make "The Legend of Conan", so I assume then that we actually will be able to see a hopefully great Conan movie with the CGI of today.
(mx) wrote: Not that modern audiences figure that a comedy co-headlined by Mae West and W.C. Fields equates instantaneous gold, but their one and only film together, 1940's "My Little Chickadee," is the cinematic equivalent of what Rachel Green's botched trifle might have tasted like in "The One Where Ross Got High." With their individual brands of humor opposite and lacking in cohesion, laughs aren't as prone to abounding as flinching is. Fields's methods for getting a chuckle out of his audience involve him devising a character, a lovable nincompoop with an eggplant nose and the voice of a gorilla. West, in the meantime, charms by playing Mae West, an incredibly sexual tigress who delivers her every line as if it's the last in an argument and she'd rather die than not get the final word in. Separately, they're forces of nature, ahead-of-their-time era definers. But together, they mesh with all the chemistry of a fly and a pool of vinegar; they seem to be fighting for the camera's attention, for the affection of consumers, to no avail. The incompatibility between the two isn't so surprising. Though West wrote the screenplay and was perhaps the most vocally creative person behind the scenes, Fields, despite only penning a single sequence, was given equal credit in post-production. During filming, the latter, incapable of allowing for his female opponent to garner most of the movie's attention, drank heavily, started fights, and refused to deliver a performance devoid of camera mugging. But regardless of if the pair appears to be starring in two separate movies, the film is a misstep in spite of its stars' disdain for one another. The screenplay, undercooked and heavier on one-liners than a Bond picture running on empty, is a weird disarray of multiple genres, and the acting, especially from Fields and West, is more flavored in dated, chintzy vaudevillian delivery than zesty, in-the-know sharpness. We feel like we're watching a film made by huge stars on the final legs of a prosperous career, doing everything they can to stay relevant. But because the 1940s saw the rise of Preston Sturges and Billy Wilder, comedy maestros who never took the easy way out, the styles of West and Fields seem out of touch in "My Little Chickadee," of another time and another place. In the film, which is set in the Old West of the 1880s, West is Flower Belle Lee, a Chicago based saloon singer on her way out to the frontier to visit some relatives. But during the ride over is she kidnapped by The Masked Bandit, an infamous criminal with a fondness for gold and grand entrances. Whether Flower Belle and her captor had something going on before the abduction took place is unclear. But hours later, at her aunt's western home, she turns up, completely unharmed. "I was in a tight spot but I managed to wriggle out of it," she purrs after being asked how she got away so quickly. But when it's inevitably discovered that Flower Belle and her kidnapper have been having a red hot love affair since her safe return, she's banished from town, only permitted to return if she regains her respectability through marriage. On the train back home, she meets Cuthbert J. Twillie (Fields), a blundering con man. After noticing a hoarding of cash in his bag, Flower Belle comes to the conclusion that she's hit the lottery - she's been ostracized by a community for only a few hours and has already met a rich guy. Since she's a barracuda that wouldn't dream of wasting an opportunity to get ahead in life, she hastily marries Twillie, unaware that he's really a bubble-headed grifter and not a cuddly millionaire. And the rest of "My Little Chickadee" follows their antics in Greasewood City, where Twillie is appointed town sheriff (only because the region's boss is a criminal and needs a knothead in charge of law enforcement to continue his reign of terror) and where Flower Belle digs deeper in her trying to discovery just who The Masked Bandit really is. A tidal wave of gut-busting the film could be, but its humor is strangely stagnant. West's usually refreshingly bawdy femininity seems obvious and obligatory - her zingers, renowned for their envelope pushing, incur the wrath of the eye roll - and Fields's persona goes far beyond the limitations of what his little-goes-a-long-way instincts normally allow. I'd hope for anything besides something middling when a pair of comedy legends are brought together for something good, but the odds aren't always in my favor and West and Fields don't mix to make a tasty flavor.
(br) wrote: The best Bond movie their ever was.
(fr) wrote: It's good movie to watch
(ag) wrote: This movie is hard to get into, and stay into. I found myself seeking distraction. The characters were difficult to associate with, and their relationship is so disgustingly dysfunctional that the man's first failed proposal attempt was him yelling outside of her window, trying to break down her door, and berating her for not living a life outside of the protective bubble of her father, and telling her that she's doomed to lay buried next to her mother in the cemetery while she cried and hung up the phone. The entire movie is filled with childish spats like this, including the scene where they have a fight about not knowing much about eachother's careers. She yelled at him for being surprised she's a woodworker while he yelled at her for not knowing which (of 4) newspapers he has worked for or what he even writes. Even my high school relationships had better drama than this, and I don't feel invested in their story at all.
(gb) wrote: Proof that Marting Lawerence is not the next Eddie Murphy in this Beverly Hills Cop rip-off.